Blogspot, neglected kinder.
When I hear about the remnants of a tropical storm affecting my area, what I usually get is rain and hot air, the type that pampers your skin with the gentle caress of a soiled jockstrap. That was Saturday. Now it's just cold and rainy, thank the Lord.
I went to Boston this weekend to help my parents prime windows and french doors. Since (in addition to being behind on the times regarding how 20 year olds conduct themselves) my parents operate on barter, I acquired two pounds of beef and pork and an entire broiled eel for services rendered.
Now, I understand that being the house chef imparts great responsibility, but in this case I have failed. I have neither the ancient knowledge or prodigious skill required to make broiled eel palatable to white tongues, so I think I'll just eat it as a midnight snack, now, alone. Certain qualities about me--weight, choice of shampoo, relative gayness index*--may hop around like a bunny, but it's nice to know that the fire of my hunger will burn at a constant high--Byron Lu, America's most trusted name in overconsumption.
*Gay club at 3AM Thursday. Index up 0.2 points to 6.4%
When I hear about the remnants of a tropical storm affecting my area, what I usually get is rain and hot air, the type that pampers your skin with the gentle caress of a soiled jockstrap. That was Saturday. Now it's just cold and rainy, thank the Lord.
I went to Boston this weekend to help my parents prime windows and french doors. Since (in addition to being behind on the times regarding how 20 year olds conduct themselves) my parents operate on barter, I acquired two pounds of beef and pork and an entire broiled eel for services rendered.
Now, I understand that being the house chef imparts great responsibility, but in this case I have failed. I have neither the ancient knowledge or prodigious skill required to make broiled eel palatable to white tongues, so I think I'll just eat it as a midnight snack, now, alone. Certain qualities about me--weight, choice of shampoo, relative gayness index*--may hop around like a bunny, but it's nice to know that the fire of my hunger will burn at a constant high--Byron Lu, America's most trusted name in overconsumption.
*Gay club at 3AM Thursday. Index up 0.2 points to 6.4%
posted by Byron at 2:57 AM
1 Comments:
I have your shirt. My dresses were stolen from my room but fear not, your discount H&M shirt remains.
Also there was more gay club on Saturday night and it was bad. Perhaps because it was sans:
a. drunkenness
b. Byron.
Maybe a.
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