Blogspot, fried crown of meats.

A quick glance at the health section of today’s New York Times online reveals a headline that should have literate pork chop fans worldwide heading to their favorite meat supplier: Pork That’s Good for the Heart May Be Possible With Cloning. These cloned animals produce Omega-3 fatty acids, which have been shown to reduce the risk of heart disease.

However, before you go on that 24-hour bacon binge, take some time to read about my experiences with genetic engineering and another of my favorite foods: rice. It’s a story that starts, oddly enough, in the Netherlands.

I remember my family’s Summer 2000 vacation to Amsterdam for many reasons, among them my initiation into the dark world of reckless European taxi drivers, Madame Tussad's wax statues and penis postcards. Oddly enough, another notable part of the trip was my visit to an airport magazine stand. On my last day in Holland, knowing that my remaining collection of Netherlands guilden (the Euro was still unfashionable) was too meager to be worth exchanging, I spent it on a deck of cards and a copy of Time.

The cover story for that issue involved “Golden Rice”, a genetically modified strain of Asia’s starch-du-jour engineered to express three daffodil genes integral to the synthesis of beta-carotene. This molecule, which also makes carrots orange, imparts a warm saffron glow to each grain of rice, hence the engineered strain’s appealing moniker. Beta-carotene is a precursor molecule to Vitamin A, so the hope then was that this new rice would alleviate Vitamin A Deficiency, which results in the deaths of between one and two million children per year.

It is a testament to my high school faith in the greatness of science that when I got back home, I did a little research online and became consumed in self-righteous fury that anybody would have reservations about the genius of Golden Rice’s creator.

However, like every apparent breakthrough technology that appears, Golden Rice had its share of problems. Genetically modified foods were (and are) considered suspicious for safety reasons. The question of who would benefit most from Golden Rice was complicated by economics. Furthermore, a skeptical populace in rural Indonesia might have rejected this new rice, no matter how pretty it was, because it was foreign and off-color. Not least of these flaws was that, according to one estimate, to derive a sufficient level of beta-carotene, a child would have to consume nine kilograms of Golden Rice a day. Consumer groups called it a hoax and a failure.

In an age when we are reminded constantly of the rapid pace of discovery, it’s sometimes easy to lose perspective. As anyone who’s ever conducted research knows, disappointment is part of the game. What's worse, even the most airtight protocol might not yield satisfactory results. Going back to the pigs, the New York Times article says that their health benefits are still theoretical.

That’s not to say that we shouldn’t try to explore new technologies, which is what Laura Bush hinted at when she asserted in 2004 that stem cell research was too preliminary to allow for unrestricted federal funding. Paradoxically, her words obliquely mirrored those of groups like Greenpeace who refer to Golden Rice as dangerous.

So where has Golden Rice research progressed since then? Well, a year ago (almost to the day), the BBC ran an article detailing a British company’s creation of “Golden Rice 2.” Syngenta, the firm in question, claimed to have engineered a new strain which contains nearly 20 times the levels of beta-carotene as the original. There’s probably still an appreciable level of spin to Syngenta’s assertions and their claim to have no commercial interest in the whole affair seems fishy. In addition, their press release admits that it is uncertain how long it would take to work out the international legalities surrounding the crop.

Nonetheless, it is clearly a step in the right direction. Even if it’s not the silver bullet that obliterates worldwide Vitamin A Deficiency (it is unlikely to be), at least it is an addition to our disease treatment arsenal. It’s also a bit of a kick in the teeth to nay-sayers who thought the promise of Golden Rice was some lunatic’s fever dream.

So to those of you who fantasize about a day when eating pork tenderloin will be like taking a dose of Lipitor, that day is unlikely to come anytime in the immediate future. However, humanity has a long track record of genetic engineering. If polyploid strawberries, fluffier sheep and Golden Rice are any indication, that ham-based theme party you’ve always wanted is on the horizon. All you need is patience.